Here We Go!

So this is a really hard post for me to write...but I think I'm at the point where I need this, and I just need to write it down and be 100% honest with myself. I have a weight problem. Period. I have always thought of myself as bigger, and most of my life I have been bigger than most of my friends. In high school I peaked at about 165, which at the time I thought was HUGE, but looking back I wish I would have realized what I really did look like. My freshman year of college I got up to 175 lbs. And then back down to 160 before the summer. Then that Summer, of 2006, I gained about 20 pounds, and by Christmas was 180. I stayed there for a while, and in 2009 when I got married I was at 185. After I got married I packed on the pounds, and by the time I got pregnant in December of 2010 I was 224. I was so lucky to not really gain any weight with my pregnancy, and I was only 226 when I left the hospital. I thank God for that blessing everyday. I started weightwatchers in February of 2012, and did really well, losing 20 lbs in just over 2 months, but got busy and discouraged and stopped in April. This morning I weighed in at 217. I've been on weightwatchers now for about 7 weeks, but haven't really been following it, and it's coming down to the wire. My goal weight is 135 lbs. That's 80 pounds. I haven't been that small since middle school. Wow. That's a daunting and scary number, and I think it's been what's keeping me from really trying. I just can't wrap my head around that much weight. The other problem is that i am sooooo baby hungry right now. I know that's crazy since i have a 14 month old, but i just want another little one so bad!!! Gabe and I have been talking about it a lot, and he has been amazingly supportive of me, and we've decided to start it out smaller. My goal right now is to get to 180. And hen when i get here, then talk about having another baby. I know how important it is, not only for mg own health, but especially for the example that i want to set for my kids. I don't want my kids to grow up with the same problems with their bodies that i did, or with the same image of food. So 35 pounds os the beginning goal. And we've even set a goal of 3 lbs lost by October 31. Trying to take it in smaller, more maneagable chunks. I know this is rambling and unorganized, I just needed to get it on "paper" and become accountable to more than just myself. So I'm going to try and be accountable to my blog, as well as my weightwatchers site, and hopefully get this weight off. I thought it would be scary to actually admit this to people, but it's actually refreshing, and feels like a step in a new and clean direction. In addition- I know that eating is so important to a healthy lifestyle, but I truly believe that physical activity is just as important, so I'm also setting g a goal to exercise at least 5 times a week. I'll probably just start out walking, because I literally cannot run for more than 5 yeards without almost passing out, and I plan to sign up for my first 5k early next year. Wish me luck!!!! And feel free to leave advice and tips on how you stay healthy, and even favorite healthy recipes!